Mike, Marilyn, Mom and Dad December 28, 2011 (two weeks before her accident-I talked with her the day she was burned, but this was our last "in-person" visit
Many of you remember the event if not the exact date, but it was a year ago today that I received the call (at 12:15 p.m. MDT..that is emblazened in my mind) that my mother had been severely burned and was being life-flighted.
Hoping that they were mistaken, and that things weren't as bad as I knew they were, I called my sisters and began my conversation with "first of all, mom and dad are both alive...but."
What happened and the details would remain a mystery for a long time and I believe we now have some answers. That is for another time. It is too much to think about today. My heart is too heavy and the hurt is still too deep and raw.
This gentle Godly woman who never spoke harshly or was hurtful nor was she ever hateful towards anyone, a woman who was a wonderful wife and a mother who set the standards higher for that great calling than I could ever hope to attain, met a harsh and cruel fate that day that was glaring and harsh in the shadow of her great gentleness.
This wasn't the day that my mama passed away, but it was the day her life was taken away...
Life by definition can be cruel, unpredictable and what feels unbearable at times...but all I know is that if I hadn't had such a wonderful mom and been loved by her SO completely, I wouldn't feel this kind of hurt and loss...so...for that reason, I have to say I am grateful even for the pain because it reflects the level of love...
Onward I go...marching through the grief and hurt and doing the best I can..
I am thankful my dad is still with us...and although my sisters and I don't grieve in the same way, I am grateful to have someone who knows what I am feeling and hopefully we are a comfort to each other..
Life goes on...and time marches on...and God is still good...
Amen
Thinking of you today, Mare. Gentle hugs.
ReplyDeleteOh Mare, I knew the date was soon...and how much your heart was going to hurt. So many memories...
ReplyDeleteAs Luv said, thinking about you today and for the next few weeks and what was going on a year ago. Wish we could all give you hugs in person. Just know that your friends here hold you close, pray for you and think many of those same things that you said about your dear mom, we think the same of you. Her special ways continue on this earth because of you...
Hugs, Beth
Thanks for the (gentle) hugs Luvs...so welcomed and needed...and Dear Beth, well, no words, except to say your post brought tears to my eyes, but in a truly wonderful way...you are all such a support that I can't even express it and I appreciate every single one of you. I wasn't really sure I wanted to post this, but why not?? You were there with me for the whole ordeal and have helped me try to move ahead...
ReplyDeleteThank you ...each one ....Big hugs to all
Mare
Oh, I do know how you feel & I hope I am Ia sort of a comfort to you, I know you are to me. I now know the reason you were given to us, you are my rock. You were always there for mom when I couldnt be, you were small when I left for college, got married & started a family. She needed you & you never failed her. I can see that plan now! What a gift you were to her & to me. She loved us all for who we are & always let us know that. I know it was her time to go, but I don't understand why all the hurt & pain. She was a saint in my eyes & saints sometimes suffer. I don't know why, but she did & now she is so very happy. She is where she always wanted to be . I know she told you that as well as me. I just want to thank you for being her guardian angle! You always seemed to know what she needed & you took care of it. thank you for being there for all of us. Love you more that you will ever know!
ReplyDeleteoh Mary Etta, what a day hmmm? I can truthfully say I am GLAD it is not a year ago...and only for the fact I wouldn't want mom to have to suffer. There was a moment I was almost afraid she WOULD survive and be in rehab that would have been beyond anything we could imagine .... She loved us all, and our children and THEIR children..such an importance they held for her...and when she left, I felt the heart of our family melt...the glue, the spirit of who we are...but then I watched as we all..us, our children and their children, hold each other up...and dad...we have held him up and you most of all...a blessing to him for sure! and to me too!
DeleteI love you so much
Marilyn
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ReplyDeleteDear Mare,
ReplyDeleteThinking of you at this time and what a lovely post ...right from the heart! Sending BIG HUGS through your blog which has brought a lot to my life as it's you and your blog buddy friends here that are truly special!! ...even though I'm mostly a peeker.
Xoxoxoxxo Beach Bonnie
BB!! HI! thank you for your kind words...I wish you had more time to drop a note to us BUT, I am always just glad when you do...peek away! Hugs to you
DeleteMare
Oh Mare, what a beautiful post! So sorry I haven't been around to keep up as much, but life has just been so crazy. I definitely need to catch up! Sending lots of hugs and prayers and love your way!
ReplyDelete:)
Amy